God Bless America

Chrissy Sims

During a 2AM traffic stop, police observed Simms had “red eyes, flushed face and slurred speech.” The arrest figures to crush his chances of landing a roster spot in Tennessee behind Vince Young and Kerry Collins. Phil’s son was nothing short of a disaster in spot action with Denver last year, and has seemed shell shocked since his life-threatening spleen injury in 2006
The NY Post reports that Titans QB Chris Simms was arrested Thursday morning for driving while under the influence of marijuana.

Many felt Simms was going to bounce back after the spleen injury that sidelined him and eventually cost him a roster spot in Tampa, but he hasn’t done much of anything since, and now this arrest may seriously damage his chances of ever making it in the NFL.

Strong Language

Funny World Cup Pics

10 Funny British Petroleum Pics

Twix - A History

Twix is the most delicious of all candy bars. That's not even subjective, it's true. I've compiled an abridged history of the Twix (thanks for the idea, Megan). For the record, this information is mostly from Wikipedia, so don't quote HwH in any scientific journals.

- Started in UK in 1967

- Made its way to the U.S.A. in 1979

- Produced in Cleveland, Tennessee

- British slogan, "Twix without tea? It's like horseriding without the horse! The Queen without her Corgis!" Also not subjective, hot tea sucks.

A few Twix varieties you may not remember:

- Cookies-N-Creme Twix (1990)

- Chocolate Fudge Twix (1990)

- Triple Chocolate Twix (1991)

- Twix 100 Calorie Bars (2000s)

- Twix Java (2008)

Best Twix moment:

Clone High

I don't know if anyone remembers this show. It was on MTV for a little while. The premise of the show is a lot of historical figures are cloned and are all in high school together. The main stars are Abe Lincoln, Gandhi, and Joan of Arc. The bad guys? JFK and the principal. It's good stuff.

Link to episodes

New Arizona Immigration Law - No Bueno

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Law & Border
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

I've never been to Mexico. I don't care to go. I don't like Mexico. It seems dirty. They gave us killer bees and bad lettuce at Taco Bell.

That being said, this new immigration law in Arizona is terrible. Basically, the law states that a cop can stop anyone he/she thinks is an illegal alien and demand documentation proving otherwise.

How Nazi is that? I don't know that many cops, but of the ones I do, a large percentage (not all) of them aren't very smart. What makes us believe these guys will be able to tell an illegal immigrant from a legal one?

I'm all for kicking every illegal alien out of the country. I'll pay more in taxes so we can hire a hell of a lot more border patrol. You know what I'm not for? Harassing innocent Americans. Leave them be. Unfortunately, we have bigger problems than these illegal aliens. Can we fix public schooling? Can we get this Iraq/Afghanistan shit done?

The Phoenix Suns will be making a political statement (really just a PR move) by wearing their Los Suns jerseys today (Cinco de Mayo).

20 Most Awesome Fan Takedowns

20 Most Awesome Fan Takedowns

In honor of the Phillies fan who got tased (No. 7) on Monday, here is a list of the best takedowns in history. I, obviously, didn't create this list. Some are lame (No. 17, 11, 1) and some are pretty awesome (No. 13, 6, 4).

Mr. Spriggs BBQ

Game Trailers - E3 2010

This awesome local video has become a web sensation. The lyrics alone would warrant a hefty chuckle, but the production value really sends it over the top. And, apparently, you can play Connect 4 while your "meat falls off the bone" (2:07). Listen and enjoy. I know I did.

Thanks to HwH's first outside contributor, John Salmon.

Funny Song Videos

Stephen Lynch - Craig (dirty)

Rhett and Link - Drive-Through Folk Song

Axis of Awesome - Four Chord Song

Two of my favorite people (Fey = forever; Bieber = right now)

Watch the funniest sketch on SNL with host Tina Fey and musical guest Justin Bieber.