New Pitching Motion

  I guess it's not really that new, but I just found out about Dr. Mike Marshall's pitching technique.  Instead of using your arm muscles and putting a large amount of strain on your elbow, he teaches the use of your arm muscles and your back muscles.

  It looks really goofy, but it seems to make sense.  This Mike Marshall guy won the Cy Young in 1974 then went on to get his Ph.D in kinesiology.  He believes his system will completely rid the baseball world of arm injuries caused by pitching.

Here is a YouTube video

 Here is his website

Purse Hook

  You may call me a homo, but I saw one of the coolest things ever tonight.  I was getting drunk at The Mont with my wife when I saw a woman at the table next to us with her purse hooked to her table.  Stephanie had to put her purse on a big pile of bird shit while this lady had a perfect place to hang her purse.  It looks kind of cheap and trashy, but it actually worked really well. I just thought I would let everyone know.

Dhani Jones

    My wife and I have started watching a new show on the Travel Channel.  It's called Dhani Tackles the Globe.  Dhani Jones is an NFL linebacker who travels to different countries and learns to play the national sport.  He's been to England and learned rugby, Switzerland and learned to swing, and Thailand to learn Muay Thai boxing.

  It's a pretty sweet show. Dhani is funny and really tries to learn the sport.  Check it out Mondays at 8.

Movie Characters

  Question:  If you could be any movie character, who would it be?

RULE: You can't have superpowers.

  My top 3:

1. Ty Webb (Chevy Chase in Caddyshack)

2. Erwin Fletcher (Chevy Chase in Fletch)

3. Crash Davis (Kevin Costner in Bull Durham)

  I promise I don't have a mush on Chevy Chase, he just always plays cool characters.  

Boston Trip

  Steph and I booked our honeymoon through Expedia.  We're going to Boston in July.  Long story short, I got an e-mail from Expedia telling me my flight had been changed and was now landing 3 hours later.  This wouldn't work for us because we have Red Sox tickets for that night.

  I called Expedia to get the time changed.  I waited on hold for a little over 20 minutes before a nice young lady named Tammy answered.  I explained my dilemma to her and she told me I'd have to pay $300 to get it changed back.

  What? Are you fucking kidding me?  She said I could call Delta and see if they could do it.  Then, I asked her for her extension. She doesn't have one. What's her last name? She didn't want to say. Were there other Tammys that work there? They have call centers all over the world.  At which call center does she work? Uhhh...Northwest. Very helpful, huh?

  I called Delta fully expecting to argue for an hour.  After waiting for only 6 minutes, Kathy picked up the phone. She fixed my problem, charged me $0 and cut out a layover in the process. Wow. That was easy.

  I wrote Expedia a lengthy and well-written e-mail complaint explaining the situation and requesting a response.  We'll see.

Epic Fail

  I got this in an e-mail and thought it was funny.  It reads:

EPIC FAIL

If you're tasting another man's finger while his junk is in your face, his foot is in 

your junk and his gravitational pull has lifted you off the ground...

You, sir, have failed.

Road Signs

  Okay everybody.  If you drive in Oklahoma (or the rest of the country), I'm sure you've seen the black and yellow signs that look like the one I posted above.  These are not speed limit signs. These are caution signs.  You don't HAVE to go this speed.

  Just for the record, REGULATORY speed limit signs are black and white.  In fact, all mandatory signs are colored only with black, red, orange, and/or white.  If it's yellow or green or purple or fucking polka-dotted, you don't HAVE to follow it.

  Just so I'm clear, when the yellow and black 45mph signs show up on HWY 9, DON'T DRIVE 45 MILES PER HOUR.  Continue driving the speed limit and fuck everyone that's going to Little Axe, Country Boy, or the Thunderbird Casino. Thank you.

The Biggest Loser

  My parents decided to propose a challenge to their oldest child.  They want me to lose weight. Shit.

  They did give me an incentive.  They told me if I could lose 50lbs. they would give me $500.  So, now, I'm going to lose 50lbs.  My lovely wife joined Weight Watchers at work and now I follow the plan and walk 4 or 5 times a week.

  I went to the doctor on Monday and found out my cholesterol is just fine (thank God), but I do weigh 291lbs.  I'll try to keep you guys updated on my weight loss as I weigh-in every week.

School Snobbery

  I guess this has turned into my bitch and moan page.  Another thing I hate is when people call universities the wrong name.  They always leave the "State" off.  I heard a colleague say, "I watched OSU play Iowa yesterday." Really? How the fuck did Iowa get in the Big XII tourney?

  There's a big difference between Iowa and Iowa State. If I'd gone to Iowa, I would resent the hell out of people referring to Iowa State as Iowa.

Worst mistakes to make:

1. Oklahoma/Oklahoma State

2. Penn/Penn State

3. Texas/Texas State

4. North Carolina/North Carolina State

5. Arkansas/Arkansas State

(Okay, I might be regionally biased.)

Norman Mexican food

Okay Normanites, 

  I went to Tarahumara's today with the Mrs. and realized that I don't like "Tara's".  I don't like the fact that they rush you out of there with Biblical vengeance.  Each and every time I go in there they take my drink order, take my entree order, give me my obligatory refill, and give me the check all at the same time.  I've been there 8 minutes and I'm getting pushed out.  Hey, here's your sopapilla, now get the fuck out.  

Norman Mexican food rankings:

1. Los Dos Amigos

2. Ted's

3. La Luna

4. Tara's

5. Chelino's

99. On the Border

Pet Peeves

  I just realized two of my pet peeves.  I've been annoyed by these things for years, but I just put two and two together. I'm a little slow.  Maybe you agree with me, maybe you don't.

1. Large Menus - Why do restaurants have to make their menus so large?  I understand they want a large variety of options, but why does the menu have to be so large physically? If you have four people at a table, you can barely fit your drinks on the table with the damn menus.  You can't converse with your guests while you're all trying to figure out what you want. It's annoying.

2. Powerful soap dispensers - Does anybody ever complain about a hand soap dispenser not having the ability to get soap into their hands? When I want soap, I want it in my hands, not all over the damn counter.  The answer for this is the foaming hand soap dispensers. Bath & Body Works had the same issue, I guess. Those cheeky bastards beat me to the punch.

  If I ever open a restaurant, you'll have foaming hand soap dispensers and non-Flintstone sized menus.

Smooth Away

  My wife just purchased the Smooth Away hair removal product. You've probably seen it advertised on tv.  It claims to remove hair instantly & pain free.  It is pain free but takes off no hair.

  "Discovered in Europe!" Maybe it doesn't work on this side of the pond. I wrote them an e-mail. I'll keep everyone updated on the response.

Long Weekend

  I had a long weekend. Sorry for the lack of updates.  The only thing I have to add today is that her name is Kaley Cuoco not Kelly.  I hate it when I do shit like that.  I apologize for the mistake.  

Growing Old

  You know you're old when you go out and come home at 9:45.  There isn't any more to this post, I'm just feeling old.  Tomorrow is going to SUCK.  I'll be a little hung over. Jack on special is a bad idea.

Chuck Lorre

  I was watching one of my favorite shows, The Big Bang Theory, and thought I should let you guys in on a semi-secret.  Chuck Lorre is the producer of the show and writes funny things on the screen.  Also, Kelly Cuoco plays Penny and I have a slight crush on her, but I digress.  Just check this site out.

Chuck Lorre's Website

  Chuck Lorre is a TV producer with a resume that include The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, Dharma and Greg, Grace Under Fire, and more.  After every episode, a white screen shows up with a funny story or commentary.  Next time you watch The Big Bang Theory or Two and a Half Men, pause it at the end and check'em out.  Or you could cheat and visit the website. 

The uncensored version of 217 is my favorite

State of Oklahoma testing

  I went to take an employment test for the state of Oklahoma.  It wasn't too bad, but I don't know how well you have to do to get a job.  The lady who checked me in was Asian and could barely speak English. What was her score? I would imagine it wasn't very good.

  Also, the online job description listed the hiring decision was "100% Written Test".  Does this mean there are no interviews?  What if I made a 100 on the test and was asked to interview?Could I show up wearing flip-flops and drunk?  If I showed up and didn't get hired, I'd be pissed.  In fact, if I were drunk and was wearing flip-flops, I'd probably take one off and slap that guy in the face.

  100% written test? That's just fucking stupid.  No wonder our state blows.

Winans of Norman

  Today, Steph and I went to Winans of Norman on Main St.  It's a little coffee/chocolate shop.  I guess it's national, but this is the only one we know of.  It was okay.  It's the kind of place you take a date. But make sure you don't take her early in the relationship.  There's nothing to do but talk and drink coffee.  If you go on a first date, there won't be a second. I'm just saying.

  On that subject, the perfect first date: the movies.  Why? If you talk too much on the first date, you'll both be tired of each other or find something out before the "sex date".  Nobody wants to miss the sex date.  You should only find out if you truly like each other AFTER the sex date.  Words of wisdom.

  In conclusion, Winans of Norman is pretty good, but not amazing.

A-Roid

   Alex Rodriguez is such a bitch.  I'm so glad that he's trying to come out and tell everybody "the truth" about his STEROID use.  But, I'll be damned, he's lying.  The newest news involves A-Rod's involvement with a gentleman who was named in the Mitchell Report and is banned from MLB clubhouses.  Angel Presinal, the "trainer", stayed in hotel rooms with A-Fraud's cousin as recently as last year.

   I hope they strip A-Rod of all his awards and records. I want him to be banned from baseball and see how long it takes him to get fat.

Predictive Text

   Predictive text is a scourge on our society.  In all honesty, it pisses me right off.  I have to translate the meaning of garbled text messages.  What does "I'll do it when I get good" mean? Oh, "good" is spelled with the same buttons as "home".  People, stop being lazy and type the shit you're trying to type.  "He we go, I'll call you."  What the hell? Oh, "If we go, I'll call you." I spend about 15 minutes a year deciphering texts.  (I completely made that statistic up.)

Stupid Celebrities and Names

While we're discussing names and celebrities...

Most Bizarre Celebrity Baby Names

Kal-El - son of Nicolas Cage

Pilot Inspektor - son of Jason Lee

Kyd - son of David Duchovny and Tea Leoni

Prince Michael II/Blanket - son/plaything of Michael Jackson

Audio Silence - son of Shannyn Sossamon

Tu - son of Rob Morrow (let me know when you get that)

Name Game

I got some of my neighbors mail in my mailbox today.  His (or her, I guess) name is Dung.  That sucks.  It made me think that some people have really shitty names.  I'm going to list some real names of celebrities and see if anyone knows them.  If you know, or just want to guess, just leave a comment.  Answers to follow.

1. Calvin Broadus

2. Lawrence Tero

3. Maria Nunez

4. Jonathon Leibowitz

5. Terry Jean Bollette

6. Carlos Ray

Rumble the Bison

  Am I the only one who's tired of seeing buffalo everywhere?  We have statues in Bricktown, we have them on the retaining walls of the interstate, and now we have to have them as our only professional team's mascot.  I have a newfound hatred of buffalo.

  I called in to the Morning Animals this morning and was told that Rumble wasn't a buffalo, but a bison.  Who gives a shit? Do you? I don't.  I admit that they did a good job making a buffalo not look like a big and useless hairy cow, but who wants to be known as the state that only has Indians and livestock?